Finding Space for You / by Kristen Phillips

As we go into our hibernation state with cold weather. Remember to let the leaves fall and get replenished into the mother earth. Release what doesn't serve you and all that good stuff. Im sure you have heard it before that holding on to stuff only makes it difficult to make space within yourself. what if holding on to that pain was all you had. Maybe it was what kept you comfortable. That the unknowing of your story looked like without that story. Without the conversation you have with others. The emotional gain you received telling the story over and over. Like I silent approval that we are seeking. And how scary it would look if the story was different? What if we didn't get similar approval ratings?  We carry these bags because we are comfortable with them. We know the weight we know the size, the color, and the smell. 

I remember when I opened up the opportunity to move out of the country. The thought of closing my business', leave my clients, family and friends. Rationalizing this new drastic chapter in my book of adventures.  I did research about the process of visas, work opportunities and how to live. Not all people were on board of course. And I had to look at each opposition with love and consideration. At one point I made the decision. Not sure when, but I was like a prepping ninja. Massaging and photo shoots on overload. Reducing my personal inventory to bare bones.  And strengthening those friendships with love. 

Somedays I would look at why I was leaving all these comforts for something so new. My life was good. Lets just call it comfortable, and uncomfortable. I was missing my Frank.  But I was enjoying life, travel, work, network etc. Something was missing. A piece of me was restless. I urged for connection to my soul. Find the deeper purpose to my book of adventures.  This urge for a deeper connection was foreign to most. They just assumed I would go over and get it out of my system and return to them. Return to my 'normal' life. 

My love well was running dry and the only one to fill it was me. I needed to make sure I was taking care of myself. Life skills are rarely taught in this side of the world. Coping skills. What are those? Like seeing a therapist, burning our pain away, working out, drawing, painting, calling a friend, sleep, medication? YES to all of them. And maybe for you none of them. Coping skills have grown over the years for me. There are a few steadfast 'go-tos' like exercise, mediation, being in nature, long drive, music, wine, and sleep.  Now sometimes it can be outta balance and I can drink and sleep. Or i can choose to go for a long drive to someplace new, have a nice dinner, and explore. Meditation used to just be a good time to nap. I hoped that the information was getting thru to my psyche even tho I was snoozing. Now its part of my daily routine. My day will go much smoother if I start off with a visit to my alter, a good song, and gratitude.  Knowing what to do for YOU to balance out isn't always easy. I must add that talking to my family and friends is a must. Processing with so many different view points helps me see the larger picture. And sometimes I just need to say stuff out loud. 

So what happens when you enter into the black hole. You are in your routine and don't even realize you are in a stagnant cycle? Here are a few things that can be clues: Negative self talk, excessive sleeping, and weight gain just to name a few. The first thing I try to do when I notice these is go for a walk in nature. This can be so awakening! Try to pull off of social media and your phone in general. Try to even put on airplane mode to see if you can just be with yourself for long. Without those distractions. Be in your own head for awhile. 

We must water our own wells, and recycle that which doesn't serve us anymore.  No one else knows that better then ourselves. Don't let your well get too low. Be aware, be in-touch, and listen. Our body is the best barometer. 

These images are from a recharge walk I needed. Thorncrag Bird Sanctuary in Lewiston Maine will always be one of my main recharge stations. Something about this sanctuary just does it for me. Find one for yourself!